The hype bordering FromSoftware’s Elden Ring has reached crucial mass for fervent fans in the type of a very unorthodox debate. Shockingly, the existing discourse surrounding the highly expected Souls-like activity is not centered on the exact same exhausted on the net argument over reused animation. Oh no, this discussion is about whether or not the horses in the game have dicks or not.
In a Reddit discussion article with spoiler and not protected for work tags, a redditor named asiuhds manufactured a submit titled “WARNING Really Crucial DISCOVERY.” Clicking into the mosaiced preview image reveals a shoddy screenshot from Elden Ring’s formal gameplay trailer with a purple circle drawn about a shadowy type that might be the horse’s junk as it scales the facet of a cliff. Enter Horse Dickgate.
Undoubtedly the thingamabob in issue is not FromSoftware deliberately showcasing its equestrian, HDR-supported, ray-traced genitals, right? Then yet again, possibly thinking like that is just what the imaginative minds who bundled that picture in the trailer are counting on. Because I had the unfortunate privilege of diving into this weird rabbit gap on the Elden Ring subreddit, I shall curse you with some of the highlights from the discourse.
A typo-laden publish by redditor estenombre mentioned, “I was anticipating a large significant spoiler… I’m not dissapointed lmao.”
“Hopefully this is patched. I want a flopper,” posted user Trick_Inevitable6043. They also happen to be the best commenter on the post, garnering a silver award for their humble contribution.
“Prolific commenter” and “avid voter” The_Jolly_Bengali despatched me for a trip with their comment. Though I briefly hoped they’d be the voice of reason, positing that the appendage was merely a sword sheath, they enable me down.
“To be good, what you’re wanting at below is possibly just the sheath, with the penis retracted inside,” they wrote. My faith in humanity is waning.
Although many of the other opinions ended up derivatives of redditors typing unique combinations of “cock ring” with the game’s title, redditor Stardraconis, my golden calf, typed what I was wondering and hypothesized that the theorists’ Big Foot-esque phenomenon could actually just be a foot–the left foot of the human astride the horse, that is. Seemingly, Reddit is a haven of fledgling comedians, for the reason that user Devoidofimagination jokingly agreed, publishing that it is almost certainly “about a foot, give or acquire an inch.” Having never interacted with the Soulsborne local community, this experience has still left a hell of a initial effect on me.
The good news is, the discourse seems to be all in jest as hungry followers lie in hold out for much more facts for Elden Ring lore to dissect in advance of they dive into enjoying the activity. For their sakes, I hope that the horse dick debate is laid to rest when Elden Ring arrives out on February 25.